4 Keys to Building a Happy Family

4 Keys to Building a Happy Family

Every mom wants to create and nurture a happy family. But if your own childhood wasn't so sunny, how do you know what that looks like? And even if you had a blissful upbringing, it's not always easy to define what, exactly, made your family life joyful. Was it the silly games you played on road trips, or the freedom you had to roam in and out of your neighbors' yards? Was it that you had good fortune never to experience a major tragedy, or was it that you had a close-knit clan that pulled together to support one another no matter what? Most of all, how can you make sure that the family you have now will be happy for the long haul?

The truth is, happy families have cranky kids, messy houses, and money struggles, just like everyone else. But underneath it all, they have a core of contentment that sustains them through all of life's ups and downs. "Being happy as a family is something deeper than simply having fun together or feeling the immediate euphoria of a joyful event like opening presents on Christmas morning," explains REDBOOK Love Network expert Scott Haltzman, M.D., author of the new book The Secrets of Happy Families. "A happy family is a family that has a deep sense of meaning and purpose in their lives." When you have that, he adds, the lows feel more manageable, because you can put them into perspective — and the highs are more memorable. Here, your keys to building a family life that will make your guy, your kids, and you truly happy.

1. Happy families...know who they are.

When your family agrees on its core values — and consistently lives by those standards — you'll build a stronger family identity and reduce conflict.

Certain values fall into place naturally; if you're married, you and your husband probably committed to each other in the first place because of values that both of you share. However, Haltzman insists on not simply letting your values evolve on their own, but rather deliberately shaping and naming your core principles. "Defining your values together cannot only reinforce a lot of the qualities that brought you together, but it can also help steer you in times when you feel conflicted," he says. Knowing that you prioritize new experiences, for example, you might decide to pull the kids out of school for a special family trip, while another family who values education over everything else would never consider scheduling a vacation during the school year.

Although the grown-ups in the house should drive the discussion, children can also play a part in framing your family's ideals. When Kerry Woodcock, 37, of Calgary, Alberta, and her husband discussed defining their values a few years ago, they asked their children (now ages 8, 7, and 3) about their favorite family moments to gauge which mores were important to them. Their son's love of the family's nightly gratitude ritual (when everyone shares their best moments of the day) has helped them define gratitude as a key value.

2. Happy families...lean on others.

As an Army wife, Hillari Bashioum, 42, of Lawton, OK, has spent her entire married life relying on other military families. "My family enjoys the support and guidance of other families who are going through all the things we have, like deployments and separation for assignments," says Bashioum, mother of four kids, ages 6 to 21. "And pulling together to help other families brings our family closer."

No family thrives in a bubble — your extended relatives, friends, neighbors, and other networks are crucial to your happiness. "Other families expose kids to new ideas and lifestyles and give them a broader view of their roles in their own family as well as in their community," Haltzman says.

"Spending time with our extended family is a big deal for us," says Gita Saini, 39, a mom of two, ages 5 and 8, in Orange County, CA, who has two sisters-in-law living close by. "The kids see our values, such as education and helping family, within our extended family, so those values are reinforced even more," she says.

If you don't have a built-in network, Haltzman suggests creating your own support system through volunteering, joining the PTA or a book club, participating in religious services, or simply reaching out to your neighbors. Alison Miller, 38, a mother of two in Chicago, has been getting together with eight other families in her neighborhood every Friday for the last seven years. The get-togethers started out as a playgroup for the moms and their first babies and evolved into a weekly dinner party that includes their husbands and 16 children. "We have formed an unlikely and remarkable community," Miller says. "I know that I can always count on these women for anything I need."

3. Happy families...bounce back.

Truly happy families have the resiliency to face life's challenges and stay strong. "Going through difficult times can actually make you feel more connected as a family," Haltzman says. But what can you do to maximize your family's ability to absorb big blows? Emphasizing the positive has helped the Jackson family find happiness despite debilitating illness. Sue Jackson, 43, was diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome in 2002 — and her two sons, then 6 and 10, were diagnosed with the same disorder just a few years later.

The Jacksons learned to adjust to their "new normal" and are now closer than ever. "Even during our worst times of illness, we remind our boys how fortunate we are to have each other," says Jackson, who lives in Wilmington, DE. "We try to find joy in everyday life by celebrating often, even small things."

Strong routines and rituals also help families regain their equilibrium when calamity strikes. When Edie McRae and her family lost their home in New Orleans to Hurricane Katrina, they relocated to Houston. The McRaes had to build a new life for themselves and their two sons, then ages 2 and 3. "We enrolled our oldest in preschool right away; having new friends lessened his worry," says McRae, 33. "And we got back to our nightly story time and weekend movies as quickly as possible. I realized that the boys craved those things because it helped them feel like they were home."

4. Happy families...breathe.

Families do better when they have plenty of laid-back time together. Whether you're going for a walk, playing Rock Band, making cookies, or just hanging out, the best way to build happy family connections is simply to enjoy one another spontaneously. "You can spend your life defining your goals, setting your values, and putting all the right things into place," Haltzman says, "but you also have to take a step back and live a little."

Haltzman suggests setting aside time for unstructured fun. "I plan ahead for family time; otherwise it's too easy to get caught up in everything else," says Kat Henderson, 38, from Wilmington, NC. "It's not about what we do but just that we're together." That's why her schedule leaves plenty of room for lazy days at home. "And every evening after dinner, we go for a walk or play outside," Henderson says. "The dishes get done later."

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Secrets of Happy Families

Secrets of Happy Families

From the Brady Bunch and Partridge Family to the Cleavers, Cunninghams, and Cosbys, images of happy families have rarely been in short supply. We all have ideas about what they should look like.

Does yours fit the portrait of a happy family? If not, don't despair. Now WebMD is letting you in on a few of the secrets to a happy family. You, too, can experience some of the domestic bliss that seemed previously reserved just for TV families.

Happy Family Secret No. 1: Enjoy Each Other

The essence of a happy family is that they truly uplift each other and that all comes down to how they treat each other, says Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, a New York-based family and relationship counselor and host of The Learning Channel's Shalom in the Home. "There is a joy that characterizes their interaction," says Boteach, father of eight children and author of several books, including the forthcoming Shalom in the Home. "Parents come home and the kids are happy to see them and when kids come home, the parents are happy to see them."

Happy Family Secret No. 2: Swap Stories

"When your kids come home, ask them what happened in school and have a story for them," he says. "If you come home dejected and not really interested and then five minutes later the TV is on, why would they be happy to see you?"

The bottom line, he says, is that when you come home, your kids have to come first. "You must drop everything you are doing and always come home with something to share with your kids, whether a story or even the smallest vignette," he says. "This way you give your kids something to look forward to. The great bane of family life is boredom and that is what leads to dysfunction, affairs, and kids wanting to be with their friends over family."

Happy Family Secret No. 3: Put the Marriage First

"Set a real example of love," Boteach says. "The relationship and marriage must come first." Think Carol and Mike Brady of the Brady Bunch and Cliff and Clair Huxtable of the Cosby Show.

There are many families where kids always come first, says Boteach. Then they become substitute providers of love, he says. "That's an unfair burden to put on a kid." It's also bad for families, he says, "because kids will move out of the house eventually."

Happy Family Secret No. 4: Break Bread Together

Families that eat together, stay together. It's that simple. "Family dinners are essential," Boteach says. "It's a time to connect." Have a minimum of four family dinners per week, he suggests.

Happy Family Secret No. 5: Play Together

"Have one or two unifying activities that the family does together on a nightly basis," Boteach says. He suggests bedtime stories for young children or reading a chapter from a novel to an older child.

Happy Family Secret No. 6: Put Family Before Friends

"In happy families, family comes before friends," he says, "The camp counselor understands something that parents don't and that is that caring for kids also has to be fun. Give rules, but understand that kids need fun, too. When kids get bored and listless, they start looking for excitement out of the home and that is when friends become more important. Friendship is important, but subordinate to family."

Happy Family Secret No. 7: Limit Children's After-School Activities

Today, growing numbers of kids are overscheduled and participate in six or seven after-school activities per week. The mother becomes a chauffer and the children are never home at the same time. This is not a recipe for a happy family, Boteach says. "If your kids grow up not knowing how to do ballet, they will be OK. No after-school activities is an extreme and too many activities is the other extreme, but moderation is where we should aim." Create your own after-school activities as a family, he suggests. For example, take your kids rollerblading, bike riding, or swimming after school as a family.

Happy Family Secret No. 8: Build and Honor Rituals

"Families need rituals," Boteach says. Rituals can be religious, national, or even family-specific, he says.

Barbara Fiese, PhD, professor and chair of psychology at Syracuse University in New York, agrees. "Happy families have meaningful rituals and are not stressed out by them," she says. "They can be unique to your own family such as going for bagels on Saturday morning, a weekly pizza night, or even a family song. Rituals tend to bring family members close together because they are repeated over time."

To work, rituals need to be flexible, she adds. "They can't be rigid," Fiese says. "If the bagel place is closed, you have to go someplace else."

Happy Family Secret No. 9: Keep Your Voices Down

Remember that children thrive on stability. "There has to be a calm environment at home," says Boteach. "Talk to your kids, give them strict rules, and punish children when necessary, but don't lose control and yell. If you yell at kids, that shows you are out of control and you create a nonpeaceful environment."

Happy Family Secret No. 10: Never Fight in Front of the Kids

TV viewers never really saw Carol and Mike Brady go at it, did they? While some fighting or bickering may be inevitable, try to keep it away from the children, Boteach says. "If your kids see you fight and argue, apologize and say, 'We are sorry you had to see it. Daddy and I just had a disagreement, but everything is OK now.'"

Happy Family Secret No. 11: Don't Work Too Much

All work and no play does worse things to a family than make it dull. "If you are away all the time and don't prioritize your kids, your kids will internalize feelings of insecurity," says Boteach. They'll begin to believe that they're not valuable enough.

Happy Family Secret No. 12: Encourage Sibling Harmony

Sibling rivalry can be divisive. "I try to speak to my kids about how fortunate they are to have siblings," Boteach says.

Happy Family Secret No. 13: Have Private Jokes

Happy families have inside jokes, Syracuse's Fiese says, "Jokes and nicknames symbolize that this is a group that you belong to and serves as a shorthand for larger experiences," she says.

Happy Family Secret No. 14: Be Flexible

"This is easier said than done," says Fiese. "But by their very nature, families change so you have to be open to change in membership and age," Fiese says. "Somebody gets married, somebody dies, somebody remarries and teenagers are no longer children and young adults are no longer teenagers, but they are all still part of the family."

Happy Family Secret No. 15: Communicate

Rose J. Perkins, EdD, associate professor of psychology at Stonehill College in Easton, Mass., says that a happy family communicate with one another. "Frequently families are set up where everyone tells the mom and then the mom sends the message, but in a happy family, there are more flexible, open lines of communication."

In happy families, "all the members of family unit are able to communicate openly," she says.

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For Happiness-Seek Family

For Happiness, Seek Family

Study Shows Family Relationships Bring Greater Happiness Than High Income

Money might buy happiness for some, but for most people having strong family ties is a much bigger predictor of contentment than income, a new study shows.

When researchers analyzed data tracking married people over a decade, they found that while income did contribute to happiness up to a point, the quality of family relationships was much more important.

The study is one of the first to examine the impact of economic and family changes over time.

"Much of the research on money and happiness has shown a strong association up to the point where basic needs are met, and that is what we found," researcher Rebecca J. North tells WebMD. "But after this point income has a diminishing impact on happiness."

Money, Family, and Happiness

North and colleagues from the University of Texas at Austin analyzed data from a study involving 274 married adults living in the San Francisco Bay area who were followed from 1981 to 1991.

Each of the participants completed surveys at four different time periods over the decade-long study designed to measure changes in family income, family support, and happiness.

The surveys indicated that while happiness was strongly tied to changes in the quality of family relationships over time, it was much less strongly tied to changes in income.

"If you ask people about this, I think most would say that family relationships are more important than family income for happiness," North says. "But if you look at the way people allocate their time, you might get a different idea."

The findings may also have implications for how we measure our well-being at a national level, North and colleagues write in the June issue of the Journal of Family Psychology.

"Implicit in conventional policy making is an assumption that a strong economy can be equated with a society's well-being," they note. "Our findings underscore the importance of additional policy indicators that can tap the well-being of individuals and families at the psychosocial level to provide a more comprehensive understanding of a nation's well-being."

Different Perspective on Happiness and Money

The study adds to a growing body of happiness research, but it is far from the last word on the topic.

In a paper presented in April at the Brookings Institution in Washington, D.C., economists Betsey Stevenson, PhD, and Justin Wolfers, PhD, concluded that income does seem to be directly related to happiness, within societies and in personal terms.

Using polling data from both rich and poor countries, the researchers found personal satisfaction to be highest among people living in the richest countries. Within the countries, people with higher incomes tended to be happier than those with less money.

In the U.S., for example, 90% of people in households making at least $250,000 considered themselves "very happy," compared to just 42% of people in households with incomes below $30,000.

"We looked at 35 years' worth of data and found the relationship between income and happiness to be very strong," Stevenson tells WebMD.

The findings seem to contradict the idea that money is only related to happiness up to the point where basic needs are met.

The research by Stevenson and Wolfers shows that people living in households with annual incomes of $250,000 tended to report higher levels of personal satisfaction than people living in households with annual earnings of $120,000.

"We didn't look at the super-rich, so we can't really say if Bill Gates is that much happier than the rest of us," Stevenson says.

About 1% of American families have annual incomes of $250,000 or more, while just 5% earn $120,000 or more.

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7 Ways to Protect Your Child's Oral Health

7 Ways to Protect Your Child's Oral Health

The toddler had 16 teeth. Despite his young age, four of the teeth were so decayed that they needed dental crowns.

This toddler's parents didn't realize how important baby teeth are, says Beverly Largent, DMD, the Paducah, Ky., dentist who cared for the child. Largent says she tells parents it's crucial to care for baby teeth. "You need to brush from the first tooth," she says.

Although this case may sound shocking, it's not rare, says Largent, the past president of the American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry. In fact, tooth decay -- although largely preventable with good care -- is the one of the most common chronic diseases of children ages 6 to 11 and teens ages 12 to 19. Tooth decay is five times more common than asthma and seven times more common than hay fever in children, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics.

By kindergarten age, more than 40% of kids have tooth decay.
Neglecting baby teeth is not the only misstep parents can make when it comes to their child's early oral health.
Here's your 7-step game plan.

Start Oral Care Early

Your child should see a dentist by the time he's a year old, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics and the American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry.

Getting preventive care early saves money in the long run, according to a report published by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The report found that costs for dental care were nearly 40% lower over a five-year period for children who got dental care by age one compared to those who didn't go to the dentist until later.

Teach the Brush & Floss Habit

Dental visits are just part of the plan, of course. Tooth brushing is also crucial from the start. "A lot of people think they don't have to brush baby teeth," Largent says. If your baby has even one tooth, it's time to start tooth brushing, she says. "If there's just one tooth, you can use gauze."

Even before your baby has teeth, you can gently brush the gums, using water on a soft baby toothbrush, or clean them with a soft washcloth.

Once there are additional teeth, Largent tells parents to buy infant toothbrushes that are very soft. Brushing should be done twice daily using a fluoridated toothpaste.

Flossing should begin when two teeth touch each other. Ask your dentist to show you the right flossing techniques and schedules, Largent says.

Also ask your dentist's advice on when to start using mouthwash. "I advise parents to wait until the child can definitely spit the mouthwash out," says Mary Hayes, DDS, a pediatric dentist in Chicago and consumer advisor for the American Dental Association. "Mouthwash is a rinse and not a beverage."

So how long until Junior can be responsible for brushing his own teeth? "[Parents] have to clean the teeth until children are able to tie their shoes or write in cursive," says Largent, echoing traditional advice given to parents by dentists.

During dental visits, ask your dentist if your child's teeth need fluoride protection or a dental sealant.

Avoid "Baby Bottle Decay"

For years, pediatricians and dentists have been cautioning parents not to put an infant or older child down for a nap with a bottle of juice, formula, or milk.

Even so, says Largent, many parents don't realize this can wreak havoc with their child's oral health.
The sugary liquids in the bottle cling to baby's teeth, providing food for bacteria that live in the mouth. The bacteria produce acids that can trigger tooth decay. Left unchecked, dental disease can adversely affect a child's growth and learning, and can even affect speech.

If you must give your child a bottle to take to bed, make sure it contains only water, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics guidelines.

Control the Sippy Cup Habit

Bottles taken to bed aren't the only beverage problem, says Hayes. The other? "Juice given during the day as a substitute for water and milk," Hayes says.

Often, that juice is in a sippy cup. It's meant as a transition cup when a child is being weaned from a bottle and learning to use a regular cup.

Parents mistakenly think juice is a healthy day-long choice for a beverage, say Hayes and Largent. But that's not the case.

Largent says she often sees children walking around all day drinking juices and other sugary beverages from a sippy cup, and that's hazardous to dental health. "Prolonged use of a sippy cup can cause decay on the back of the front teeth," if the beverages are sugary, she says.

Juice consumption has been linked to childhood obesity and the development of tooth decay, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics. In its current policy statement on preventive oral health, the organization advises parents to limit the intake of 100% fruit juice to no more than four ounces a day. Sugary drinks and foods should be limited to mealtimes.

"Pediatricians I know are telling parents to use juice as a treat," Hayes says.

Ditch the Binky by 2 or 3

Pacifiers used in the first year of life may actually help prevent sudden infant death syndrome, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics. They suggest using a pacifier when placing the infant to sleep but not to reinsert it when the infant is asleep. Long-term use can be hazardous to dental health. Sucking too strongly on a pacifier, for instance, can affect how the top and bottom teeth line up (the "bite") or can affect the shape of the mouth.

Largent tells parents of her young patients: "Pacifiers are for infants, not for toddlers walking around with them in their mouths." She discourages long-term use of even the "orthodontically correct" pacifiers.

Largent says she prefers that pacifiers be dropped by age 2. The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests getting a professional evaluation if the pacifier habit continues beyond age 3.

Beware of Mouth-Unfriendly Medicines

Many medications that children take are flavored and sugary, says Hayes. If that sticks on the teeth, the risk for tooth decay goes up.

Children on medications for chronic conditions such as asthma and heart problems often have a higher decay rate, she finds.

Antibiotics and some asthma medications can cause an overgrowth of candida (yeast), which can lead to a fungal infection called oral thrush. Suspect thrush if you see creamy, curd-like patches on the tongue or inside the mouth.

"If your child is on chronic medications, ask your child's dentist how often you should brush," Hayes says. You may be advised to help your child brush as often as four times a day.

Stand Firm on Oral Hygiene

Parents often tell Hayes that their children put up a fuss when it comes time to brush and floss, so parents relent and don’t keep up with oral care at home as they should.

Hayes strongly advises these parents to let their children know they don't have a choice about brushing and flossing.

"It has to be done," Hayes says. But she understands that children can get cranky and difficult. She suggests these tips to coax reluctant brushers and flossers to get the job done -- or if they are too young, to allow their parents to help them do it.

• Plan to help your children longer than you may think necessary. "Children don't have the fine motor skills to brush their own teeth until about age 6," says Hayes. Flossing skills don't get good until later, probably age 10.
• Schedule the brushing and flossing and rinsing, if advised, at times when your child is not overly tired. You may get more cooperation from a child who isn't fatigued.
• Get your child involved in a way that's age-appropriate. For instance, you might let a child who is age 5 or older pick his own toothpaste at the store, from options you approve. You could buy two or three different kinds of toothpaste and let the child choose which one to use each time. You may offer him a choice of toothbrushes, including kid-friendly ones that are brightly colored or decorated.
• Figure out what motivates your child. A younger child may gladly brush for a sticker, for instance

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Protecting Yourself From Medical Costs and Disability

What It Costs to Have a Baby

The expenses you’ll face when you have your first baby, and tips for spending wisely on your newborn.

For future moms who are thinking about having a baby, you usually ponder the excitement of pregnancy and the joy of holding your newborn in your arms. The price tag of actually bringing your child into the world is an afterthought.

But when you sit down with a calculator and start adding up the expense of pregnancy, giving birth, and what you need to survive the first few weeks with a newborn, the dollar signs appear.

From the price of diapers to the going rate for a cesarean section, here’s the bottom line for moms-to-be who want to learn more about the cost of having a baby, as well as where to save, and where to spend wisely.

The Price of Pregnancy

Although it’s easy to get excited about the countless number of baby supplies you can buy during the course of your pregnancy, your focus here should be not so much on spending but on your health, and your baby’s.
“Early and continuous prenatal care is essential both before and throughout your pregnancy to help ensure a healthy delivery, and healthy baby,” says Jeanne Conry, MD, an obstetrician with Kaiser Permanente in Sacramento, Calif.

This is where health insurance comes into play for the first time during your pregnancy -- if you have it, these visits and any diagnostic tests like ultrasounds will likely be covered and are generally considered preventive care. If not, be prepared -- the average cost of prenatal care is about $2,000, if you're paying out of pocket.
One of the most important elements of prenatal care is a prenatal vitamin, which contains 400 mcg of folic acid and aids in preventing some birth defects, like neural tube defects. This is one cost that should be incurred even before you get pregnant; because about half of all pregnancies are surprises, women of childbearing age should be on a multivitamin that contains folic acid, Conry says.

Ranging in price from $10 to $20 for an over-the-counter option, or the cost of a co-pay if covered by your insurance company and prescribed by your doctor, this could be one of the most important pregnancy investments you make.

Other pregnancy-related costs are maternity clothes, which can range from free if you hit up your mom-friends for hand-me-downs, to middle-of-the-road department store finds, to designer duds that cost hundreds of dollars. If you’re looking to save, this is one way to pinch pennies by borrowing and consignment shopping.

Preparing for Baby

Shopping for a newborn baby can be overwhelming, especially for first-time moms who aren’t sure what is necessary, and what’s just nice to have. Even more intimidating than the endless aisles of baby supplies is the chance of going overboard on baby luxuries that you’ll never use, but cost a fortune.

“There are thousands of baby products on the market for new moms to consider, but frankly speaking, most are nice-to-haves,” says Lori Hill, a certified doula with the Doulas of North America in Williamsburg, Va.
You need to focus on what you and your baby can’t go without first from a cost perspective, she says, and then figure out how much you have left over to spend on accessories.
The fundamentals can be simple: a car seat, a crib, diapers and wipes, a changing table, a few baby clothes to get you started, and a baby monitor. A thrifty mom can make these buys for about $400 by shopping bargains, but don’t sacrifice safety to save a buck, especially on the car seat and crib. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends avoiding older, used car seats to ensure maximum protection for your child and using cribs certified by the Juvenile Products Manufacturers Association (JPMA).
Diapers and wipes are other essentials that you need to purchase during pregnancy in preparation for baby’s arrival. The good news is these both offer opportunities to save by either buying in bulk -- a 250-pack of diapers usually costs about $40 -- or by using cloth diapers. Wipes can also be substituted for washcloths, saving you about $10-$15 for a box of almost 400, which typically lasts a few weeks for one child.
Baby clothes are like maternity clothes -- you can spend hundreds or even thousands outfitting your little one, or ask around for gently worn hand-me-downs that will get you started. Since baby grows out of her outfits so fast, this might be a way to save.
Another important cost when you are getting ready for baby’s arrival is childbirth education, says Hill. Ranging in price from approximately $50-$200, these classes can help a new mom with the trials of pregnancy and childbirth, and surviving the first few weeks with a newborn.
“Education, preferably in the form of childbirth, infant care, and breastfeeding classes, really is an important part of preparing for delivery and bringing baby home,” Hill says.

The Hospital Expense

Where the cost of having a baby can really add up is at the hospital. With the average charge of an uncomplicated cesarean section more than doubling from 1993-2007, and the cost of an uncomplicated vaginal delivery almost tripling during that same time period, first-time moms really need to make sure they are well-prepared financially for this part of pregnancy -- especially if you don’t have health insurance.

“Looking at a sample of nine states, researchers found that 17% to 41% of childbearing women lacked insurance before coming pregnant," says Carol Sakala, director of programs at Childbirth Connection, a national nonprofit organization that works on behalf of mothers and babies to improve the quality of maternity care in the U.S. “While 13% to 35% of the pregnant women qualified for Medicaid coverage, many either didn’t qualify or didn’t apply, finding private insurance or paying out of pocket," Sakala says.

For these women, the costs of childbirth can be a significant financial pitfall. Data gathered from 2008 by the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality shows that the charge for an uncomplicated cesarean section is approximately $15,000, while an uncomplicated vaginal birth runs about $9,000.

The underinsured run a risk here as well. Women who have individual policies often find that maternity care coverage is completely excluded, versus Medicaid or group private insurance plans that cover almost all pregnancy-related healthcare costs, Sakala says. This means that coverage is only available with a large surcharge, or that only a portion of maternity care services are covered.

“It’s important to be aware that these numbers reflect the amount a hospital will charge for these services, rather than the actual cost,” says Anne Elixhauser, PhD, senior research scientist at the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality. “The actual amount of what it costs the hospital to perform the service is about 30% of what’s charged.”

For an uninsured woman or someone facing out-of-pocket costs, this is an important negotiating tool.
“Ask and negotiate with a hospital to pay a discounted rate,” Sakala says. “Since what is being charged is significantly higher that the actual cost, you have some room to potentially save.”

The Bottom Line

When it all adds up, bringing your firstborn into the world can be either break the bank if you don’t have health insurance, or run the cost of a few important supplies if you do. Here’s a cheat sheet of some of the approximate costs -- or ranges, depending on your insurance situation -- you’ll face when you decide to its time to have a baby:

• Prenatal care: $0-$2,000
• Prenatal vitamin: $15/30-day supply
• Maternity clothes: Free, if shared
• Crib: $100
• Wipes: $10/box of 400
• Diapers: $40/box of 250
• Monitor: $15
• Changing table and pad: $100
• Baby clothes: Free, if shared
• Car seat: $100
• Childbirth classes: $50-$200/class
• Hospital costs: $0-$15,000

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The Best Family Vacation Destinations

The Best Family Vacation Destinations

Traveling with the kids (and maybe even your parents) need not be a compromise or a chore. Here, getaways for all generations.

If going to Grandma’s for Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas Eve doesn’t provide enough together time for your family (and how could it?), there’s a new trend you may want to try. Increasingly, vacationers are including Grandma and Grandpa on their summer getaways. The appeal is obvious: Active, healthy seniors are eager to share fun times with the kids; overworked parents get to relax with all their loved ones; youngsters revel in twice the attention; and everybody gets to reconnect in a new setting, build even stronger bonds, and create lifelong memories.

At least, that’s how it’s supposed to work. Then there’s the other possible scenario: You and your husband trapped in an overcrowded hotel suite with warring tweens and an overanxious mother-in-law. But don’t worry. Choosing the right destination goes a long way toward guaranteeing that your gang-of-all-ages will stay happy, excited, and entertained. Here, three affordable, irresistible ideas for three-generation vacations that will delight all your loved ones, young and old.

FAMILY-FIRST RESORTS

For most families, the secret of togetherness is spending several daytime hours apart — and family camps and resorts are set up to let that happen, with a smorgasbord of organized programs, day and night, generally all included in the price of your stay. That means that as you plan, you should consider not only what each of you likes to do, but what potential new areas you want to explore — because if you’ve never tried snorkeling or water-skiing, this is your big chance. Typically, you can also choose among a number of lodging and dining options, giving your family even further flexibility to mix and match until you create a getaway that will be great for everyone.

YMCA Wonders

With family camps throughout the country (and beyond), the YMCA serves up some of the best — and most affordable — sites for outdoor fun. Each camp is a gem that makes the most of its natural setting — pristine lake, primeval forest, unsullied beach — with comfy lodgings and a long list of location-specific things to do that will swiftly and easily erase any generation gap.

Perched in Missouri’s Eastern Ozarks, Trout Lodge overlooks the vast Sunnen Lake, surrounded by acres of lush forest. There’s an activity for just about every letter of the alphabet, from archery and horseback riding to trout fishing and woodworking. The camp’s family-friendly accommodations include buffet-style meals and suites in the main lodge, as well as adjoining two-bedroom cabins that share a common room.

Other standout camps in the Y’s stable: Sandy Island by the crystal waters of Lake Winnipesaukee in New Hampshire provides sailing lessons, water-skiing, line dancing classes, and talent shows. The YMCA of the Adirondacks in Silver Bay, NY, features rowing and kayaking, while Camp Nawakwa, in Lac du Flambeau, WI, is located next to a Chippewa reservation where you can tour an original Native American village.

FAMILY-FIRST RESORTS continued...

Details: Summer room rates at Trout Lodge are $149 per night for one adult; each additional adult is $59. Kids 6 through 17 are $49; 5 and under are free. Includes all meals and most activities.

To book: For Trout Lodge, call 888-386-9622 or go to ymcaoftheozarks.org. Browse the offerings at ymca.net to find a camp near you or in a locale you’d like to visit.

Summer at a Ski Resort

With spectacular scenery, luxurious amenities, and a full roster of fun (which may include such kid thrillers as tubing on a waterslide, bungee bouncing, and balloon rides), the slopes make just as great a getaway when they’re sunny, warm, and snow-free — and the price is often much lower. Take Smugglers’ Notch in Vermont, where, as the grown-ups linger over a leisurely breakfast, the kids can hop onto the resort’s free shuttle bus bound for skate camp, theater workshops, or one of four water parks. Alternatively, some combination of adults can join little ones in building a toy sailboat or taking a guided nature walk while the rest of the party quaffs cocoa or cocktails at the lodge. At night, the resort hosts live performances, movies, bonfires, and a genuine Vermont country fair, featuring games of all kinds, food stands, and local musicians.

Other mountains to hit when it’s hot include Whistler Blackcomb, in Whistler, British Columbia, which has mountain biking, fishing, mini golf, horseback riding, and bungee trampolines. Less strenuous but equally entertaining activities like fly-fishing and soaking in hot springs draw families to Colorado’s Steamboat Springs.

Details: Smugglers’ Notch condo lodging offers three bedrooms for three nights/four days starting at $1,737: includes most activities. Mention Good Housekeeping if you’re booking six summer nights, and your seventh will be free.

To book: For Smugglers’ Notch, call 800-451-8752 or visit smuggs.com. For Whistler Blackcomb, see whistlerblackcomb.com. For Steamboat Springs, log on to steamboat.com.

SHARE A SHIP

From ocean liners to houseboats, water getaways of all kinds are great for families since they offer fun activities as well as peaceful perusal of the landscape. If cruises are what interests you, know that today’s liners are virtually floating resorts, conveniently jam-packed with fun and food tailored to every age. For families seeking more intimacy and interaction, smaller boats that you can steer yourself probably fill the bill.

Live Large on a Liner

For a big-boat cruise that caters to everyone in your brood, consider Royal Caribbean’s new Freedom-class line. Among the attractions for kids are teen-only dance clubs, a climbing wall, a surf simulator, and a water park. The younger set can participate in hands-on classes in art, science (think volcano making!), and theater. Meanwhile, adults can enjoy live performances, wine tastings, jazz clubs, dance classes, a swimming solarium, and the staff’s attentive service.

Despite these onboard luxuries, disembarking from your liner also has its appeal: Many itineraries allow travelers to tour the festive plazas, commanding forts, and antique churches of Puerto Rico’s Old San Juan, one of the oldest settlements in U.S. territory. At other typical island stops, St. Thomas and St. Maarten, some of the best beaches in the world (plus duty-free shopping) await.

Details: Per person, double occupancy prices start at $749 for seven nights. Prices vary by ship.

To book: Call 800-769-2522 or go to royalcaribbean.com.

Helm a Houseboat

Steer your own personal home through the quiet coves and rippling lakes of Voyageurs National Park in Minnesota. Amazingly, no sailing experience is necessary: You’ll receive easy-to-follow maps and instructions well before you step on board a houseboat from Voyagaire, one of the area’s renters. Boats are generally equipped with full kitchens, bathrooms, grills, and (just as essential) a swim slide — and many have air-conditioning and hot tubs. All provide safety features such as radios and life jackets, and you can opt to have the outfitter deliver whatever supplies you need daily.

Other idyllic locations for houseboating? Try Utah’s Lake Powell, ringed with red rock formations and soft sand beaches, or Dale Hollow Lake on the border between Tennessee and Kentucky, which offers some of the nation’s best bass fishing.

Details: Price for a Voyagaire boat with five double beds is $485 daily, $2,425 weekly. Good Housekeeping readers receive free linen service.

To book: For Voyagaire, call 800-882-6287 or go to houseboatvacation.com. For houseboats in other areas, visit lakepowell.com and dalehollowlake.com.

Travel on a Tall Ship

Love the romantic many-masted ships of yore? Sail back in time with the Maine Windjammer Association, 12 privately owned tall ships that supply an authentic New England seafaring experience (as well as a crew to do the serious sailing — good news for landlubbers). The company’s oldest vessel was built in 1871, and seven are registered as National Historic Landmarks. These beautiful boats are almost entirely wind powered, so get in the spirit and leave your cell phones and laptops at home. You’ll find yourself hauling lobster traps and sails, tying knots, fishing, and seal spotting as you sail the quiet paradise of Penobscot Bay. When you go ashore, explore fishing harbors and tidal pools and savor an authentic Maine lobster bake before heading back to the boat to bunk down by lamplight on board.

Details: Cruises carry between six and 40 and run three to six nights from May through October; prices are about $150 per day per person and include all meals and activities. Children must be 5 or older. Age restrictions and activities vary by boat: Ask in advance.

To book: Call 800-807-9463 or visit sailmainecoast.com.

ACTION ADVENTURES

Packages that focus on once-in-a-lifetime experiences may sound too physically challenging for seniors and too nerve-racking for parents with kids to watch out for. But today’s family-friendly adventure travel no longer means inaccessible locales, hefty price tags, or endurance marathons. Play it safe, though: Be sure to share any potential health issues or concerns with your outfitter before booking your trip to see if it’s necessary to make special arrangements for kids or seniors.

River Rapids Ride

Why rough it when you can brave the white water by day and still relax in a comfy camp at night? On a rafting trip from Holiday Expeditions, families float down 44 winding miles of the Green River in Dinosaur National Monument park, CO, admiring the stunning 2,500-foot peaks of ocher and amber overhead. A trained guide from the outfitter steers your vessel through excitingly real (but never too racy) rapids.

Back on land, you can fish in a blue-ribbon trout stream, play boccie ball, or take an easy hike up the craggy slopes to view ancient Native American rock etchings. Meanwhile, the staff will be setting up your camp (including latrines) and preparing a hearty campfire cookout to provide the perfect finale to each day.

Details: A three-night, four-day excursion costs $845 per adult and $725 for each child under 18 or senior over 65. Minimum age is 8.

To book: Call 800-624-6323 or go to bikeraft.com. Find other expeditions and outfitters on riversearch.com.

Safari in the States

Do an overnight where the wild things are by camping on an animal preserve. Try Safari West, a 400-acre accredited animal park in Santa Rosa, CA, inhabited by giraffes, zebras, buffalo, wildebeests, warthogs, and impalas, among others. Your family can get a good look at these seldom-seen beasts on open-air Jeep tours led by knowledgeable guides who get you close while keeping you safe. After you’ve left the preserve, rediscover creature comforts at the Napa or Sonoma wineries nearby.

Come nightfall, youngsters will be thrilled to stay in real tents built on high wooden platforms, while the grown-ups in your party will be equally thrilled to find that these lodgings include many unexpected luxuries like plush beds, hardwood floors, and full bathrooms. Attached decks offer still more chances for animal observation.

Details: Tents cost $230 to $255 per night, double occupancy. Safari tours are $65 for adults and $30 for children 3 to 12. Groups of six or more who mention Good Housekeeping when booking will receive a 20 percent discount.

To book: Call 800-616-2695 or visit safariwest.com.

Sports Spectacular

Golf is the perfect all-ages physical activity, with basics that are easy for kids to learn, and intricacies that can keep adults engaged for hours. The legendary Pinehurst, in North Carolina, where generations of champion golfers have played, is ramping up its appeal for amateurs, with new (shorter) “family tees” on seven of its eight courses. Share a day on the greens together with the resort’s Family Fairways package, which includes free club rentals for everyone, a one-hour beginners’ or basics-refresher clinic, unlimited time on the range, and a leisurely round of late-afternoon golf that you can play on a families-only course. Off the fairways, spend an afternoon fishing on Lake Pinehurst or enjoy a mud wrap at the spa. Kids 3 to 12 can join one of the resort’s organized games, excursions, or craft-making sessions, or even try one of the many treatments that are available for kids and teens at Pinehurst’s spa.

Details: The Summer Tee Social Package (including room, daily breakfast and dinner, and most activities) is $1,548 for a family of six for four days/three nights. Kids 17 and under stay, eat, and golf free; Family Fairways costs an additional $130 per family of four and runs Easter through Thanksgiving. Mention Good Housekeeping for a 10 percent discount midweek; see pinehurst.com/gh for details.

To book: Call 800-487-4653 or visit pinehurst.com.

TRAVEL TIPS

Is Your Package Worth the Price?

A single price tag for your whole trip may sound appealing, but don’t assume it means more savings or more fun. Ask the following before you book:

Have they given you a discount for booking as a family?
Bringing in a big chunk of business should yield real benefits, such as discounted or upgraded rooms and lower-priced meals for kids and seniors. (Do note, however, that most hotels already let kids under 18 stay free — so don’t consider that to be a big-group bonus.) Some airlines, like Northwest or Southwest, even offer fare discounts for groups of 10 or more.

Are fees hidden in the fine print?
Some hotels charge every guest for things like gym visits and poolside towels, even if they never use them: Look out for the “resort fee.” Also, ask whether it will cost extra to have a mini fridge or cot in the room, and if there’s a charge for parking.

Does your package entitle you to private excursions or special pricing for activities?
For example, groups of eight or more who stay at a Disney resort are eligible for “magical gatherings” packages, which can include activities like fireworks cruises and safari tours that let kids meet and greet the animals (both the real and costumed kinds).

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Markert Diet

Markert Diet

Advantages: stay in shape, easy to perform Disadvantages: difficult to hold a bit monotonous, often needs to go

In my first attempt in August 2002 did the diet turbo (but Glauber's salt, but with a teaspoon Agiolax) and adopted despite Schildrüsenunterfunktion from 5 kg!
In the fall of 2002 I made a second experiment, which was broken, but after 4 days because my dog ​​had to be euthanized. I could not! Conclusion: It must be "mental" rather well draufsein to stick to the diet really. And others were 1.5.
My weight of 73 kg since I held so far (despite the sins of Christmas and Easter dinner)
Since I've realized that my diet when the weather is warm, easy going I am currently trying kg with "Turbo Force" to 68 (my ideal weight) down.


What helps when you mean "can not"

The distribution of dry rations for 4 or 5 drinks during the day! Bebe last about 1 hour before bedtime - with the growling stomach fall did not sleep well!

Try eating your wegzuhalten people around and when advertising on TV!
If you can be with high and people had to leave not imagine in an emergency situation before it is cast in the fruit, a snail in a salad and worms in the fish ...

Chewing sugarless gum available in several flavors!

Sucking sugarless candies and as often as you like!

Frier that Orangen-/Johannisbeer-/Kirschsaft a (natl. without sugar) as "ice substitute." Sweetener loses its sweetness when frozen, so you can save!

If the terrible appetite for "something" tried the taste of spices or drink to "replace"
(Explanation: A balanced meal should contain all the flavors:
So Sauer (salad), bitter + salty (meat, for example), fresh (peas, carrots, potatoes and dessert) until
. One is full and satisfied) This can be achieved even if we look at the "taste" which feels like "liquid" is:)
eg
Stixi + salty-sour (licking a pinch of salt - one cup of black coffee)
bittersweet chocolate + - (make "chocolate" real cocoa powder (caution contains fat), Fitmilch and sweetener) or eat a sugar-free candy
pickles, salad, fruit and sour (drink acidic juice such as blackcurrant juice, make you water with lemon juice or cider vinegar)
Stew, chili con carne, hot (chile powder to make soup or cook with a hot pepper)
Cake-sweet (to make a cup of coffee and eat a sweet without sugar More)
Cappuchino + sweet taste (experiment with coffee, sweetener and Fitmilch - after 4 days of the Turbo Diet Gourmet Heaven)


If you really want to leave, almost all are to stop smoking, go to the supermarket and look there in the meat department of the "fat" / "pork belly." Consider what has already lost weight and look this time as "bacon" for. Think about how it would look on her hips .... Taking the best of the crowd (full) of bacon in hand, before the date that has everything with you !!!... rumgeschleppt Mir-trick helped the beautiful!

"Rewards"

We pay special (which save money on food.) Try going back to film, theater, buy a good book and read the "lunch" in it.

Good luck

Stirring something skimmed milk vegetable broth. It happens to you as the best cream soup in the world!
Soup spoon to take his place!

Permitted only in case of emergency (as a prize) a glass of champagne or wine acid acid! Viez / Cider helps evacuate! ISS BUT NOTHING! The smallest bite breaks the diet turbo!

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Children change your life

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Batal

Children change your life

The desire to cherish their own children, many couples. When you put the first young, it is clear that very few changes in life. Children place the day before completely on its head.

Children make everyday life in head
That children are brought into the world completely normal and is simply evolution. You want to have children, although one can not know immediately what to expect doing. Children do when they see the light of day, the day before in a completely upside down. Things you did as a happy couple alone or without children, who must now be abandoned or drastically reduced. Increases consistent with a sudden sense of responsibility for their own lives and of course for children.
A child needs during the early years a lot of support and attention of parents, and that alone can not cope in this world. Both parents are of course mandatory and must adapt their lives completely to the needs of young people living on earth.

The race concerns
All the latest after birth include things like regular visits to the club, party or other pleasure very last. Women have been here during the
Pregnancy slower than expected of children as little stress and tension.
In particular, the race is playing an increasingly important role. While there are many ways for the state relief and the assurance that despite waiver son's career needs, however, the new generation a drastic change. Even if the grandparents, friends, relatives or caregivers of children, young parents to actively support, not the same.

Children cost money
Money should never play a role in infertility. Usually, on this subject, without big words being lost. A fact which certainly might regret later. Children cost money, which is beyond question.
Not only is the salary of the parents and feed a person's decision to sacrifice the career of the child, or postpone, also drop the salary of a father. The issue of money is a factor to be considered from the beginning. Prevention is appropriate in this case, anyway.
Even in later years, you should always create reserves as money for education of children.

Conclusion
Even if everything changes completely, you get used to surprise quickly to new conditions. From the moment of birth every day brings new challenges. The first goal of the Family, in order to sleep at night again. The beautiful side of the girl, but quickly the console through all these stress factors!
In addition, children have something special: we can teach the adults to see the world anew through the eyes of children. Then you realize how long does your own childhood.

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