The Secret of a Happy Home

The Secret of a Happy Home 

The Relationship Between Husband and Wife and its Influence on the Children

In this closing decade of the twentieth century, we face a crisis more profound and extensive in terms of its impact on our society than perhaps even the great wars and depression that have defined the past hundred years. This is the crisis of the family. Even the word "family" has shifted in meaning under the impact of all the strains placed upon it. Where once "family" called forth the image of a smiling mother and father with several happy children and perhaps a grandma and grandpa in the background, today this picture is vanishing. 

There are single-parent families, shared- custody families, step families, foster families, and adoptive families all trying to put back together the pieces of our shattered family lives. We have overcome the crises presented by our enemies. We have overcome the crisis of material prosperity. Can we overcome this crisis of the spirit?

This is a crisis we do not meet on the battlefield or in the marketplace. This is a crisis we each must face in our own homes and in our own hearts. Dr. Taniguchi has shown us the secret to solving this crisis, but we must do it heart by heart and home by home.

The secret lies in honoring the other person. When the husband praises and honors his wife and the wife praises and honors her husband, no discord can appear and the home is a happy one. To understand this relationship of honor, we must realize that the husband is not like the wife nor the wife like the husband. They are two halves that have come together to make a whole, and each has valuable attributes that are missing in the other. It is in recognizing the essential value and worth that each member brings to the relationship that is the basis of marital harmony. Sometimes we too narrowly define what is important in a relationship, and in our emphasis on the material aspects of our endeavors, we overlook the spirit. Suddenly, when it is too late, we find it has departed.

Dr. Taniguchi teaches us that the father is the central figure of the family. He is like the sun that shines on everything. The mother receives the light and like the water peacefully enriches the entire family and is the source of its vitality. One is not more important than the other but their roles simply are different. Without the earth and the water of the earth, the sun is but a meaningless orb blazing in the sky. The earth and water without the sun are cast into the gloom and ice of despair. Together, a bountiful paradise appears in the home. It is in our nature that the husband most needs the respect and support of his wife and the wife most needs the love and gratitude of her husband. When these are missing, the seeds of discontent have already been sown. There are countless tragic tales and mountains of blame, but they all could have been erased if these vital ingredients were never lost.

Every wedding is a happy one. What happens that leads more than half of these marriages to be dissolved? Too often we set about trying to correct the faults of the other rather than praising their good points. Dr. Taniguchi teaches us as follows:

We cannot say enough about the importance of the husband and wife living together in a loving relationship. To do this, the husband and wife must recognize only the good in each other and not dwell on each other's faults. A person can find all sorts of good in someone if he only tries, and if he is critical, he can also find all sorts of faults in them. However, no matter how hard one may try, nothing good comes from criticizing others. 

The more you criticize someone, it only helps to cause disharmony in the relationship with that person and does nothing to change him.
It is like trying to become an artist by studying a painting of no value. This will be of no benefit to you. No matter how much you may criticize a bad painting, it is not going to help you improve. Contrary to that, if you look at many good paintings, studying them and learning what makes them good, your painting will improve tremendously. Our lives are something like creative art. When we observe the good in others, praise and appreciate them, they are growing before we realize it. This also helps us to uncover our inner God nature. . .

When parents are in harmony, the children are happy and secure and grow up to be good citizens and wonderful people. No greater gift can parents give their children than their own harmonious relationship and the love and good fortune that flow from it. Dr. Taniguchi tells us:
A wealthy family is not necessarily one that is rich in the abundance of money. It does not matter how big a mansion or how large the assets are that a family may possess. If the wife is sick and is bedridden, if the children become delinquent, and if there is constant fighting between the parents and the children or between the husband and wife, then in a true sense, the family is not rich. (partially omitted) As a husband, wife or child you must live in complete harmony with your family and love each other from the bottom of your hearts. Then you will in no time be enjoying infinite wealth.

Harmony between husband and wife, father, mother and children it is as simple as that. What happens without it? We read about it every day in the newspapers and see it on TV: drugs, crime, gangs, broken families, missing children, abortions, unwed mothers, random shootings and the misery surrounding us. Start today and solve this crisis by bringing peace and harmony to your heart and praising those around you. Peace and harmony will come to your home. Then, heart by heart and home by home, peace and harmony will come to your workplace, your community, this country and the world.
By Bruce Mallery

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